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Harnessing confidence when you can

I was recently asked to write articles about confidence for a range of magazines. It’s a funny old thing, confidence.

When it comes to confidence in people, there are the ‘haves’, the ‘have-nots’, and the ‘in-betweeners’. Lots of us fall into the in-betweeners category: we wake up one day thinking that we can take on the world, and the next day wondering how on earth we could possibly do anything new or bold.

The psyche is the master trickster, bigging you up one day and then laughing in your face the next. The challenge is to learn to master it, and master it you can.

On the day that you wake up with high hopes, you should spend time thinking exactly how that feels. Write it down. What are you saying to yourself? How quickly and purposefully are you moving? How are others reacting to you? These are the ‘high hope’ feelings that you need to harness to transport you from disbelieving to believing.

People don’t spend enough time thinking and reflecting. They lurch from one event to the next, fire fighting their way through life and not really learning from their own experience.

Try this: stand up and drop your chin onto your chest, slouch your shoulders and get ready to have a long face and a slow plod, saying out loud “It’s not fair, it’s alright for everybody else, I never get what I want”.

How did that feel? Could you feel your energy drop and your head and heart get heavy?

Now, stand tall with your head held high. Get ready to stride around the room smiling, saying: “I’m going to find a way to make this work, I am such a lucky person, I can’t wait to get cracking”.

How did that feel? Uplifting, exciting and motivating, I hope.

The more you can remain upbeat and positive, the more confident you will feel and the more others will look to you as someone with whom they like spending time. Think carefully about your habits, and you can unlock your confidence when you need it most.

Penny Whitelock, November 2016

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