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You only have to control your life, you don’t have to control the world. Part 2

Following Part 1 of ‘You only have to control your life, you don’t have to control the world’ which we posted a couple of weeks ago, you should now have your own completed wheel and it will look a bit like this;

The first step is to decide which one of the problems identified you want to do something about first to gain some control back. Which one is the quickest / easiest/ cheapest to address? Which will have the biggest impact? Which will get you closer to the ‘10’ score?

Once you have decided on that, write down the goal that you WANT to achieve – not a statement of what you don’t want e.g. I am using 2 hours per week on self-development. Or, I have designed 6 training sessions to develop the team in?…

Once you have the goal, spend 5 minutes talking through to yourself how this will benefit you. If there is no worthwhile benefit then you are unlikely to commit to it. Benefits may be “Other people will see how well organised I am”, “I will feel proud to have dealt with the issue”, “I will gain time with my family”, “I will save money”, etc etc

Now if this was easy to achieve you would already have done it – so ask yourself the question;

Step 1 : ‘Why haven’t I done this already? The answer to this will throw up the barriers that you have not faced, or the self-limiting beliefs that you hold that get in your way. Identifying this is important – if you don’t recognise it, then it is likely to remain in the way and will be one of the reasons for failure.

Step 2 : Spend some time understanding what this is – it is usually things like “I don’t have time”, “I am too old”, “My family won’t like it”, “It costs too much”. If any of these are getting in the way, work on understanding what they really mean. It costs too much?…So how much is it then?
It may be that getting the answer to the barrier becomes the real goal that you need to work on. If it is then reset the goal.

Step 3 : What are you going to do to help you achieve the goal? You want to create some options. Not just one or two options but lots of options – let your imagination run away with you;

If money was unlimited what would you do? If you could devote all of your time to just this one thing what would do? If you didn’t have to live with the consequences, what would you do? If you didn’t have to explain your reasons to anyone, what would you do? If you could take just one step to get closer, what would it be? What would your friends recommend?

Write down everything that comes into your head then go back through the list and choose what you will actually do to help you achieve your goal and regain control – you are unlikely to want to do them all but if you do that’s fine. Put them into numerical order and then work out a timetable that you are happy to commit to. A timetable that starts pretty soon!

This is a coaching approach and relies on your commitment to help yourself.

Good luck.

Penny Whitelock FinstLM




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